Turducken for everyone

Yum Yum, I do so love the holidays. Here's a much delayed round up of holiday events and personal observations.

-Wednesday night, I sit very confused in my house, aware that there is something that I traditionally do but cannot remember. So what do I do? I hop in the shower. And good thing too! When I get out I have a message from Jen asking me when I'm getting to the local Irish pub for fun and festivities. Ah ha! I think to myself, that is what I do. I did not realize how much I depend on the JW to remind of my drinking duties. I gussied up and went over to join Mr and Mrs. Mo, Plan B and JK. JK most definitely took up the drinking void that was left by the absence of Wash and YaWash.

-I find it amusing when Natick folk don't recognize each other (see AWash completely drawing a blank when our neighbor of forever and a day tried to speak to him last year). This year the Capt Oblivious Award goes to Plan B. I come back from one of many trips to the Powder Room (three toilets don't swing it for reunion night), I come back and JK has gone missing. I ask Plan B where he is and he starts laughing that JK has been hitting on some girl at the bar. I take a peek and it is none other than Lizzy K. Who is the daughter of momma K's friend. Strictly Platonico. Fear not Angie, you could totally take her.

-Next Day is turkey day. Another day where JW was missed. Why? Cause in addition to my baking duties I was forced into manual labor that is usually covered by his Washness. Then there was the whole missing my fam bit. We were down a few this time, only 16 and all of the missing parties were misseed. It made for one of the most sparsely filled "Kid Picture" to date (see bottom)

-my apple pie was DEVOURED so quickly that papa Dub almost didn't get any and we know that wouldn't have ended well, so next year I must make 3 pies this way AWash gets a pie the way he likes it and won't pout while he eats.

-I braved the shopping malls on Black Friday and honestly I don't get what the big deal is. Sure I practiced my karate chop and the trusty bait and switch moves that have worked so well in the past. I even did some practice "underfire" parking on my street before I embarked. But what a waste! I had zilch difficulty in parking at CC, minimal issues at BB and absolutely not problemo getting a primo spot at the Mall at noon (course there was that tricky matter of defensively driving the wrong way down a one way lane of the parking garage, but in my defense who has ever heard of direction specificity in a parking garage?) Anywho, it was a vaguely successfuly venture, I got one sister in law taken care of, a preliminary gift for anonymous nephew, and a couple of things for the brothers wash.

-Most ironic sight of the week thus far. A giant Land Rover on SUPER SUPED up tires covered in bumper stickers that one would think would belong on say....oh i don't know a Prius. Silly environ freak driving a gas guzzling SUV, gotta love it

Why Seattle is not the place for me....

One week of rain results in high humidity levels. This week of rain happens to be corresponding to a particular week of the month during which I suffer from increased bitchiness and susceptibility to pain. Awesome. Do we see where I am going with this? I am in and have been in severe pain for the last few days. Part of the problem of having a twice surgically repaired knee and one in which the inside was deteriorating to the point for my doctor to refer to it as the knee of a senior citizen and not the young person that I am.

So I'm feeling bitchy and moany and all kinds of not nice. What could help this situation? A friendly question of "are you okay?". What does not help? Getting a phone call and being accused of being a grumpy pants and then assorted other ribbing which while good natured, feeds my anger and nearly resulted in a quick hang up of the telephone. Lucky for me or Mr. Anonymous, Samson's bowels came into play and I was given a legitimate reason for my quick departure off the phone.

-You know what else bugs me? Annoying telemarketers. I have a heart, I get the purpose for charities, but gimme a break. Being harassed by the organization makes me LESS not MORE likely to donate to your cause. When I'm prepared to make donations, I will do it and those places that call repeatedly will fall to the bottom of the list. Then there is the retail worker whom I encountered today. 1) it is not my fault that your store is not doing a good job of keeping their supplies in a fashion that makes sense and is easy to locate different sizes and styles. Yes, I was probably bitchy in my remarks, but guess what? You work in retail and that is part of the job description to handle angry patrons in a professional manner. Bitch to all your friends when I've left the store but it is your job to make me feel as though my complaints are legit and not that I'm annoying you by asking about shipments.

-The Wal-Mart greeter is a good idea in theory....I guess. Today there was a very elderly gentleman assigned this task. Now, I don't like to be rude and if they acknowledge me, I greet them right back, cause lets face it...that job sucks. Today, I walked towards him...nothing, as I am passed him, he shouts "HI HOW ARE YOU TODAY", i was so shocked by this sudden display of life that I jumped and was unable to verbalize a response. Made me feel guilty, but then again given the volume at which he spoke, it is entirely possible that he would never have heard my response anyway.

-I was glad when the early 90's fed into the mid 90's for a variety of reasons, but one of them was that there would be no more hammer pants. Both brothers Wash, were guilty of this trend. I tried to get a picture for this but I cannot at this time. The point is that Emmitt managed to pull off his best Hammer imitation like a true MVP last night. Absolutely fraktastic! Mario wasn't bad either though I couldn't figure out what Tiffani Amber Thiessen was doing in the audience til I remembered the SBTB connection early this am. Should be interesting to see who is crowned champ.

-Vinny Testaverde? Really? I mean seriously Billy Boy, is there something that Patriots Nation should be aware of? Further evidence of the Leave the Pats Curse, David Givens aka Mr. Greedy Pants the first, left for the Titans and was immediately plagued by injury. Guess what? He's done for the rest of the season having played for a cumulative 2 games max. Add that to the injuries that plague Ty Law and other greedy desserters and it means that Deion "delicate" Branch is only a matter of quarters away from suffering another injury. Ah well

- poor sucker in fantasy football. My team is decidedly pathetic in all respects. I attribute most of this to the bogus scoring system but I've already discussed that. At least I can bring other folks down. I have 2 wins (including against the current Board Leader) and this week my opponent only managed a tie against my sad sack of a team. hehehe

I think that's enough bitching and moaning for the day, you dont like it? Nobody told you to read it all the way through.

Sabbatical

Peace out people, I'm taking a Sabbatical from Blog World. I don't even know why people are getting mad at me, since I had nothing to do with the "showdown" on another blog. Right now, I have too many thoughts in my brain that are inappropriate to be sharing with y'all. So I'm peacing out for a bit til the kitchen cools down. Maybe I'll come back in a week or maybe not until the new year.

Yowza

Good Grief! All kinds of havoc was wreaked on my poor sister in law's blog. She wrote a post about her political views and then got in a heated argument with my bro. Funny part was, she didn't know whom she was insulting. (okay not funny in that traditional ha ha sense). The part I found the most amusing is the conviction that sis in law and JW had that Mr. Anonymous could not possibly be the infamous AWash. Silly folks have clearly been on the west coast too long if they couldn't fathom the response that referring to him as an "ignorant idiot" would have. This sibling does not, never has, and never will take kindly to being insulted in any form.

In other news, BJ's sucks. They strung me a long for a week, fully knowing that they did not intend to hire me. Worse, they strung my agency along for the week as well, which may cause some strained relations in the future cause people generally don't like being screwed around with. With the permission of one of my GW pals, I applied to some jobs at this marketing place down in the District using her as a reference. Haven't heard back yet, but perhaps I'll send a lil note to confirm receipt of the original app.

Poor Sammy Wammy today. Had an accident during a ride (not his fault) and in an effort to not sit in his mess, wound up stuck between the front and back seats again. This required a lot of agility on my part to get him out, clean the car, and prevent injury....all in the rain. A yucky way to begin the day. Then came the realization that I am screwed when it comes to this holiday season. I am simply flat out of ideas and I have a reputation for gift giving to live up to. I gave AWash and StayWash presents on 3 or 4 separate occasions. COmpletely my pleasure, but good Lord I got nothing when it comes to holiday gift ideas for either of them. Papa W is one of the toughest folks on the planet to shop for and my mom's birthday is perilously close to the holidays this year and I only have one gift idea thus far. I even went to the mall today to see if I was inspired with gift ideas....maybe it was too early to see anything worthwhile, they usually hold out the good stuff until after turkey day anyway.

One last note, young men who work for Victoria's Secret are CREEPY, and all of the folks who work for the kiosks in the mall are beyond ANNOYING. I get it, its their job to sell stuff, but when you see flocks of people walking out of there way just to avoid you, perhaps it is time to change your tactics and let people come to you. I already have a cell phone and I'm in a contract, so NO i don't want to talk to you T Mobile people, get over it. And Mr. Magic Nail man, I have no nails and if I had the slightest interest in your product I would slow down and look over your cart, not try to avert eye contact with you. Luckily, I sported to the twin braid Pochahantas look, thus making me appear approximately 15 years old and not a worthy bracket for pursuit today. Finally, something going my way!

It ain't easy being Sammy

So my pobre perro has been suffering from some maladies as of late. Seeing as he's 10.5 years old and really had no health related problems until last summer I can't really complain. But man oh man does it suck to get old. First, puppy has been on a lovely cocktail of vitamins (for joints and shiny coats), thyroid meds, and arthritis medication. When he came back from the kennel for A and StayWash's wedding, puppy starting sneezing quite frequently. I thought perhaps my room had gotten a lil dusty. Until the day when he sneezed and blood came out. No good. Immediately make an appointment with his doc. Go in the next day where we encounter his old doctor that I chose to switch from. Good call on my part because something has clearly gone down between those two. I've never seen my big mean animal so apprehensive and scared with his ears down and in a crouched angry kitty position. So much so that old doc backed off real quick. Compare this reaction to new doc: Wagging tail and immediate approaching to be pat on the head. Anywho once again this doc drops the C-bomb, perhaps there is a cancer in his nose causing his nose to deteriorate. I disagree, but I don't have a DVM or MD after my name so we agree to test out some antibiotics to see if that cures up the issue. Naturally, Sammy requires the antibiotic that goes for about $2.20 a pill and because he's so large he needs 5 a day. Add it up. Toss in some additional pain killers to help him with his arthritis and you have 17 pills daily for our geriatric puppy. However, all seems to be healing so i guess it was worth it.

To add insult to injury, I took him on a car ride on sunday. Why? Because he was stalking me around the house for his weekend drive and my mom said to take him for a quick ride and then we'd hit the mall. We like to go before all those church goers get out of services, makes parking easy. Well, as i made a left turn, samson was standing and barking out of the passenger side window. Deadly combo. Yep, he fell and got wedged between the front and back seats. Neither bone, nor cheese, nor the belief that AWash (which did get him looking around excitedly) could motivate him to rise. My efforts to boost his bottom with my cold crutch were futile. Then DING DING DING, I am smacked with inspiration. Hand off the leash to my moms and go to our friendly next door neighbors who own a mini pinscher named Nico. I ask for a weird favor and then ask to borrow Nico for motivation. "might as well be useful to somebody" I am told. I get the littlest dog with the biggest complex in the world on a leash. i haven't even passed the fence when I can see my car moving back and forth as samson is trying to meet his enemy. He makes a valiant attempt but cannot get out the way we wanted. so i bring Nico around to the otherside at which point samson very eagerly escapes the confines of the car and in a great jump madly approaches Nico. Mission Accomplished!!!!

- Did my duty and voted on Tuesday...my guy won. I say "my guy" but once again it seems as though the election was choosing between the lesser of two evils. Kinda sad when you think about it, but then again I suppose its near impossible to agree with a candidate on every issue. Especially for someone like me who finds themselves leaning on the conservative edge when it comes to criminal justice related issues and liberal when it comes to everything else.

- I've got a beef with two corporations. One of them is screwing my parents out of a new dishwasher. They have a service plan that says after 4 visits POOF new machine. Well after the 7 visit in the last few months, they claim no no no, we want to try and replace all of the mechanisms inside first and if that doesn't work then you get a new machine. Seem more fiscally responsible on both ends if we just got a machine. The policy means we're not paying for these parts, but I can't imagine that essentially replacing all of the parts is more cost effective than just giving a new machine. Losers! Second beef? A certain wholesaler seems to be jerking me around. I had a choice between this wholesaler and Mt. Ida during the summer and chose Mt. Ida at the time. Given the choice again, I'd choose Mt. Ida over and over. Well this wholesaler had an opportunity on a temporary basis so I decided to give it a shot. Met with them on Monday and as today is Thursday I still have not heard from them. Seeing as the last time I interviewed I heard the same day I have an inkling that pay back might be the name of the game.

-just sent my resume and a reference within the company to this place in DC, so perhaps I'll have to consider moving once again.

-some more revelations from the wedding. It was brought to my attention that my eldest brother AWash believes that I need a man to "take care of me". The anonymous source said that at one point he was being considered as a suitable match for me but now that he is taken, my brother might be turning his sights on another friend. Very cute that he thinks I need to be taken care of, but a little sad that he doesn't think I'd be able to find someone suitable on my own. Though given my track record, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

-Working in the Development office at the Ida influenced my decision to donate to GW this year for the first time ever. What do i get? An extrememly non personal printed receipt for my records, not the slightly less inpersonal acknowledgement letter that the Mustangs send out. Stupid over priced hoity toity school.

-New favorite store opening: Petsmart (I'm sure this will wear off as Loew's and the new mall stores will be opening throughout the year). But where else can you get pet supplies, a kennel/daycare, full service grooming, and vet clinic in one place???? Totally Rad

-Ride Emmit Ride! I'm pumped that Emmit Smith made it to the finals! Who would've thunk that a running back would be more graceful than a wide receiver (love you Jerry Rice, but Emmit blows you away)

TDawg's Back...Alright!!!

So sorry folks. First, my computer went kaput and said no more internet. Then I return from my time off to attend to wedding things and I find out that my assignment at Mt. Ida would come to an end last Friday. And I had to train a very nice British woman which meant I lost computer rights altogether starting on last Wednesday. Blech. So much to catch y'all up on.

First some observations. I gotta say it. I love my dog but there are limits to what it is appropriate when it comes to having him tag along. I take him on errands but he stays in the car...where he belongs. He does not walk around a grocery store with me or stroll along the mall. Imagine my shock today when I was driving by a local cemetary and saw a couple walking a dog through the graveyard! Say wha?! I mean really how rude is that? Letting your dog piss and poo on somebody's grave? DEEE-sgusting.

Now on to more pleasant things. As written on the Wash's blog a week ago, mi hermano mayor got married to a very pretty lady last week. So I shall recount for my highlights and lowlights.

First the highlights.
-having the wash and family in town is always a fun time. Seeing YaWash all pregnant was nice too because I didn't really get to hang with her when she was carrying Jude in her belly
-Cold Stone Creamery visit with JW, Yan, Jude, and papa w was DElish. I highly recommend a visit there if you have the time.....even if it is chilly
-couldn't beat the weather
-Rehearsal dinner:
good eats (staywash has most excellent taste in all things wedding related) [note the ginormous cookie in hand]

-the speeches were topnotch. Awash's dentist friend gave a hilarious speech (too bad it was basically the speach that JW planned on giving the following night). My good friend TMosk gave the only speech that brought a tear to my eye. The fact that I was in it? Merely coincidence.
-Jude's new favorite game is chase me/chase Auntie Taryn. I give myself props for being able to maintain this game at a high velocity for over an hour, sans knee brace
-the hotel for the affair was redonculous. Check out one of the views for my hotel room. Yes that is me in the back, I feel it adds an artsy flair.
-after the rehearsal dinner, me and mis hermanos with one of Awash's old buddies, hit the hotel bar for some libations. As always, we Washkowi know how to have a good time. However, one of us still has not learned his limits. Said middle child, wound up booting all over the place in his room. Something that I had the pleasure of discovering when I awoke the next day. I opened my door and found a bunch of sheets in front of my door. The housekeeper was kind enough to open up the sheets and show me the contents of Middle Child's stomach from the night before. Tre appetizing! The picture to the right is an attempt to soak up any remaining alcoholic content in the belly.

-got to see Adam and Jen again. Definitely amongst my favorite folks. Didn't get to hang as much as I would like but I know I'll get to see them for turkey soon.
-StayWash was absolutely stunning in her dress. She truly was the perfect bride.
-Awash looked good too, and he didn't make me bend in pictures with him!
-Top notch food

-the open bar was a fantastic idea! I enjoyed it thoroughly. (note my nephew to the right, we start young in my family)
-good times with the family, good dancing, good to see old friends I haven't seen in awhile and AWash's friends are fantastic fun folks

Lowlights:
-the vomit was nasty
-running for 1 hour sans brace was not wise.
-twisting the ankle not fun
-having to say goodbye to JW, Jude, and Yan
***UPDATED - I forgot to put the absensce of Jon and Angie here before. Because really, those two definitely add flair to events that they attend. Sadly they fell victim to the year of a bazillion weddings
-not writing about this earlier, because some of my memories have managed to fade already. End result? I know I had a wicked pissa time and I'm happy to have a new sister in law because she makes my brother veddy happy.

So for all of you that missed me, here's my diddy to signify that I'm back. Guess who's back? Back again? TDawg's back...tell a friend!