Deuce

So I've had a lot of time to form my opinions...about a quarter century and this is the conclusion I've come to when describing the differences between girls and boys. Boys are messy but girls are dirrrrrrtay. Allow me to state my case. I worked for the Dept of Athletics at GW for six years so as luck would have it, I got to spend a lot of time in the men's and women's locker rooms for work purposes. There may also be an incident regarding the men's and women's basketball team locker rooms, but I digress. In my years of management at LHWC, I couldn't help but notice some things. One, the men's room had a certain stank quality about the air. There were several more incidents of thievery that occurred in the men's locker room. But here's the thing, if you plugged your nose, you never wanted to vomit from anything you would see in there. Girls? Holy crapido batman but girls can be nasty in locker rooms. I have a theory that i'll put forth later. Girls have a lot more hair than boys, meaning that there tends to be a lot of shedding. Well, seeing balls of gnarly hair in the floor and in the shower is certainly cringe inducing but nothing can top the fact that women have a certain monthly visitor. Sadly, I cannot count on all of my appendages the number of times that I would come across certain artifacts that would attest to the fact that members of our facility were currently having one of these visits. That is GROSS. Nasty. No true word can describe the vileness of leaving stuff like this in a public place. I'm a woman, i get it, but damn people it's called a trash can, use it. I also found a greater tendency for random nakedness and overflowing toilets.

But this is why I bring up the issue today. Today I went to use the lavatory and was shocked to discover a floater in the toilet I was about to use. YUCK, so I said "Yuck" and promptly moved on to another stall. While I was "indisposed" I heard no less than two other women come in, say similar statements and also use other stalls. Now this raises a couple of issues. One, who the hell leaves a floater? I mean really, how do you not know that you've left a man behind? You don't like germs and touching the handle, but you've got feet use them. Second, why did I and all the other women feel compelled to comment on the nastiness, but not do anything to resolve the situation. Eventually, someone is going to flush it but why did we delay it? Very strange but I find myself acting that way every time it happens. I don't flush probably because I'm not into cleaning up other people's messes. Plus if the floater's mommy didn't want to say goodbye, who am I to intervene?

Theory time: Women make a mess of locker rooms and public restrooms because they never get to let loose in their homes. Women are supposed to be tidy, so I would imagine that most women spend an inordinate amount of time making sure their personal lavatories are in fantastic condition. Therefore, when they are not responsible for the cleaning, they do all of the things that they would never do at home. Men? Well they're not really responsible for cleaning are they? So they act the same in public facilities as they would at home, cause they are used to having someone to clean up after them.