Sell Out

I hate to admit it, but I have finally sold out. I was offered a permanent position at the company I've been temping at. Based on the concept of benefits and a guaranteed salary, I caved to this offer. I must say that I've been second guessing myself ever sense. I have less than zero interest in this field nor do I see myself getting a spark of inspiration. This "training" week has stressed me out more than I can ever remember being. I do not stress over this kind of thing easily. Case in point? Brother JW and wife Yan have a wedding in March while I was in grad school. No biggie you say, spring break. Alas, the scheduling did not work out and instead of spending my spring break chillin in LA and celebrating, I wind up having to bring some reading material to prep for my comprehensive exam that I have to take one day after returning on a red eye flight. so wha??? I partied with my Jamaican brethren and enjoyed every minute of (once my luggage arrived of course). So what if I didn't fully pass the first time around, no biggie at all. Second time works for me and I have the degree to prove it. So anywho, my point is that it is not ME to stress over this kind of business which should tell you a lot. I'm somewhat overwhelmed with the feeling that I gave up on myself a lil too early and was lured by the health insurance since I was recently informed of the expense of my needed individual policy. If the folks didn't rock I would be straight out. Needless to say this week has felt like months already. Everytime, I get up to do something I come back and there are more piles for me things to do. Things that I don't even know what they mean, let alone know how to process. Ugggggh.

Also falling into the sad category is that Sammy Wammy has taken a turn. He shall make it to the golden age of 11 in a few weeks, but whether he'll be around by Turkey Day is seeming less and less likely and that makes me sadder than I can even say. But until the day when he decides he's had enough, we shall enjoy the remaining time together. Especially once this stupid ice melts away and he can bathroom without risk of hurting himself.

Peace out, I must try to collect myself before starting another day of "training"